[The second page of this letter was sent to Canada, Vermont, and Boston for original signatures and was mailed from Minneapolis, Minnesota. It came from out of the blue. I always made a list before I went to see Martha of things I wanted to discuss. On this night my list had just one thing Paul. I was excited. She stopped me immediately. She had something important to discuss. Besides being mailed to her office, my brothers and sisters had looked up her home address and mailed a copy of this letter to her there. With that and the final paragraph of this letter, she saw it as nothing less than a blatant attempt to intimidate her. Yes, these children of Quaker pacifists and ACLU leaders and educators, flat out tried to scare my therapist. It didnt work. What it did do was underscore to her the incredible level of dysfunction in my family. I will print my short, somewhat crude response to this letter tomorrow and a more detailed look at every issue raised at another time. I will also add, that I dont disagree with any of the items my brothers and sisters allege about me in this letter. Yes, it is very disturbing. I have deleted Marthas last name.]
Evergreen Counseling Associates
7600 Stenton Avenue, Suite 1-F
Philadelphia, PA 19118
Dear Martha xxxxxx,
We are writing you out of our concern for our sister, Becky Holzinger. We love her, and we are deeply concerned because of her increasing paranoia and unsupported rage toward our father. We know that she has been seeing you for over a year, and we would like you to be aware of some of our explicit concerns. Our concern began about two and a half years ago, when Becky started making many allegations that have no supporting facts.
1) When our mother got quite sick in January, Becky thought our father might be poisoning her. She put enormous pressure on Anne (e-mailing and calling almost daily) to fly to Lancaster as quickly as possible; she didnt say why other than she was really concerned about how long our mother had been ill. It was only after Steve decided to drive to Lancaster after a sibling conference call that Becky told Anne and Steve her belief that our father was poisoning our mother. Beckys paranoia faded as our mother got better. None of the four of us thought for a second that our father was poisoning our mother.
2) Becky feels that our father threatened the love of her life into ending his relationship with her after he had asked Becky to marry him. None of us has any recollection or knowledge of those kinds of events. Becky never told Anne, who has been quite close to Becky most of their adult lives, anything about the threats until two years ago.
3) Becky believes that our father had an affair many years ago and that we have a half brother around Beckys age living somewhere among us. None of us believes that our father had an affair, much less fathered a child outside of his marriage. Our father always came straight home from work, always came home earlier than expected from business trips, and generally was at home as much as he possibly could be. Becky believes his old paramour is back living in Lancaster now and she thought that might also be why he was poisoning our mother. She has also several times told Anne that she believes our father murdered a paramour many years ago.
4) Becky alleges that our father molested her when she was in high school and says that she has two memories of such abuse. We do not know what transpired between Becky and our father, but the four of us experienced nothing sexually inappropriate with our father during our childhood and adolescence. Becky also claims our father must have sexually abused Tom, even though both Tom and our father deny any abuse.
5) When Anne visited Becky in January 2003 Becky threatened to write a detailed letter to all Lancaster attorneys and members of our parents Quaker meeting, exposing all the things she claims Dad has done. She has already been contacting former Franklin & Marshall professors and deans, asking questions about our father and spreading rumors and allegations.
6) Becky believes that our father physically abused our mother, based on one picture many years ago where our mother has a bruise on her face. When Anne pointed out that, in our small house, we kids would have been aware if such abuse happened on a regular basis, she rejected Annes rationale out of hand. When Anne asked our mother outright during her January visit if such abuse had ever happened, our mother categorically said no.
When Anne visited Becky in Philadelphia in the fall of 2001, Becky insisted they all stay at a Philadelphia hotel because her house was too messy. When Tom stayed with Becky over the Christmas holidays that same year, Becky took several days off work and Chris, her son, took at least one day off school to help her clean. When Anne was planning her visit to Pennsylvania in January 2003, Becky told her she could not enter her house, much less spend the night there, because it was too messy. We bring this to your attention as an example of how consumed Becky is by her rage at our father, so consumed that she is neglecting other aspects of her life.
We realize that you cannot discuss Beckys condition with us out of respect for the therapist-client relationship. However, we feel that it is important that we convey to you our current understanding of some of Beckys issues, how they are being manifested, and a number of the dire and unsupported allegations that are being disseminated as hearsay.
Frankly, we are also growing increasingly concerned that she is not making progress under your care. We are urging you in the strongest informal manner we can to see that Becky gets the most professional attention possible and, if necessary, any medication that she seems to so desperately need. Thank you.
Tom Holzinger (signed April 11, 2003)
Emily Hausman (signed April 10, 2003)
Anne Holzinger (signed April 14, 2003)
Steve Holzinger (signed, undated)
The second letter is here. (please page down).
The third letter is here.
My email "Journey" which would cross with the above letter is here.
My sister's respsonse to "Journey" is here.