A NEIGHBOR’S INSIGHT (I received this email on December 17, 2003, shortly after                    distributing the Lancaster Independent Paper)   Becky:   I received a copy of the LIP from my parents for reading.  They still live in the neighborhood.  I remember the Holzinger family from growing up in the neighborhood, but you are a few years older than me, so I really didn’t know you.  The only memories I have of your family is stopping in while trick or treating on Halloween.  I remember getting asked in for cookies.   I believe what you wrote really happened, but I must admit that while I was reading the paper I was thinking that this is unbelievable.  Most likely I thought this because the neighborhood was a good one.  It’s incomprehensible that something like this would happen in our back yard – and we wouldn’t have any suspicions.  Since I had no real memories about your family, I asked my mother for her thoughts.  She told me that the family was quiet, but since your parents were educated, she just thought that they kept to themselves.  Her thoughts were that the children were brilliant and were busy studying.  She did note that after high school, you and your siblings did not visit home very often, which was surprising to her.   Usually, after finishing a book or article, I go about my regular routine.  But, for some reason, I keep thinking about what you wrote.  For 40+ years you have been in turmoil and I hope that you can soon find peace and the happiness that you deserve.  Being a mother myself, I cannot comprehend the terror imposed upon you.  No one has the right to abuse their child.  I assume it is too late for you to file charges against your parents.   I applaud your courage for speaking out!  I’m looking forward to the next issue of your paper, especially “Charlie’s Story.” -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Thank you for writing.  Two quick examples of the level of dysfunction in my family follow.  I am going to examine this in more depth later.   The week before I was going to write and publish the paper I sat with my therapist,   “It’s not normal, right?” I asked.  “People aren’t going to think it’s normal for one brother to molest both of his other brothers are they?  People will realize this isn’t a normal family won’t they?”   This Christmas my 56 year old brother sent all of his siblings a computer disc of photos at Christmas time.  There is one of him showing full frontal nudity.  I called my therapist, “This is just a reality check,” I said, “but this isn’t normal is it?  This doesn’t happen in most families does it?  Brothers and sisters don’t send each other naked photographs of themselves do they?”