An Open Letter to Tom Holzinger     (On April 13, 2002, this disturbing e-mail was sent by my former sister-in-law to all immediate members of my family. In the space of two minutes my therapist found the answer to behavior that had puzzled and worried family and friends for years.  Within two weeks, she would be proven correct, as yet another horrific Holzinger secret would be revealed.)   Hi Tom,        As you may recall, one of the issues that precipitated our divorce was the fact that you kept bringing guys to have sex in my bed when I wasn’t there, and your insistence that you were going to have sex with your foster brother, during his planned stay in our guestroom even though I was at home.  It seemed to me that you crossed a certain line at that point.     Now another boundary has been breached.  For Easter I went to be with my mother in Pennsylvania for a week, and I naively thought it was very nice of you to offer to feed our cat Cloudy during my absence.  As you had once again lost my house key, I had another copy made and I gave you my trust.  I returned on Monday, and we had daily contact as we discussed Misha’s current trip.  I had no reason to enter my guestroom until Friday, at which point I saw that the bed had been used.  When I asked you about this, you said that indeed you had been there with a friend because “there was physical desire,” but that you saw no problem with that.     Well, there are problems.  Firstly, there’s the question of common courtesy.  Why wouldn’t one ask permission before using someone else’s place, or at least mention it after the fact?  Why do I have to “discover” this stuff?  Secondly, there’s the availability of thousands of places for couples to use in Montreal.  Why this obsession with having gay sex in MY bed?  Have you not yet violated me thoroughly enough?  You are a sick man, Tom, and I hope that someday you get the psychiatric help you so desperately need.  In the meantime, I need to rethink the influence and even role-model you are for our son, and how much overnighting he should actually be doing at your place.  The fact that you hide your actions despite claiming that they are perfectly acceptable indicates a lack of judgment and serious moral confusion.     For years I maintained discretion with a notion of “protecting” you, but you’ve shown that you have no such scruples.  Hence this is an open letter, to which anybody is welcome to respond. ______________________________________________________________            BROTHERLY LOVE    (I sent this e-mail to my brother and sisters on May 2, 2002)   Hello Emily:         I understand that our family has been keeping yet another secret.  Tom molested his own brother Steve and you knew.  I think it would have been nice if someone had told me before I sent my son to Canada for a week by himself.  Very nice.     I come from a normal, nice home, but I have a brother who molested his younger brother (by the way that's a CRIME) and his "foster" brother.  But let's keep that a secret so everyone thinks we're the nice, normal family that's better than everyone else because our father is a PROFESSOR.     And you are surprised that my therapist immediately saw sexual abuse - and you say it couldn't have been our father.  I wonder what other secrets are out there.     Why didn't you ever suggest to your twin that he gets help - before he lands in jail.  Shit, the Catholic Church has nothing on the Holzinger family. _____________________________________________________________