An artist's rendering of Ted Byrne, the Parking Guy
[Editor's note - Ted Byrnes don't happen to everyone. If you're lucky enough to get one in a lifetime you run with it. When life hands you a lemon, you made lemonade. Mad Magazine has waited 20 years for a Ted Byrne. National Lampoon has waited 25 years. The Onion calls me everyday for his number. No, Ted is mine. Together, we will soar to the seventh story of a parking garage and from there, the sky is the limit! You will come to know more about that cutesy scoundrel Byrne than his mother, God bless her soul. I have been honored. I am blessed. Thank you to the journalism gods. I will treat him with the humor, charm and disrespect he deserves. It doesn't get any better than this. Life is good.]
A CRYSTAL GLASS GARAGE
[These are the inspirational and spiritual words posted by Ted Byrne, the Parking Guy, on Talkback. The insight, the wisdom and the beauty of his writing brought me to tears. But last night, Ted, well into his second book, turned mean. Gasp! It's true. Check back later today, for full details.]
"In life, much as I try, I cannot get it all. It perturbs and frustrates me. Frustration is a pesky thing, it comes out in so many ways. In fact, it is why I get crankier as I build the stuff up with age. I guess it's the cost of change. I'm reminded of the wedding couple, she hoping he will change, he hoping she will never - change. Life holds surprises for them and us. Good points though. I wish we could afford a crystal glass garage... that, at least would let the sun shine directly in."