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Welcome
CONTACT US
THE CABLE GUY
GRAND JURY
LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1
LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2
LANC. LYNCHING - 3
LANC. LYNCHING - 4
LANC. LYNCHING - 5
LANC. LYNCHING - 6
DR. FRAUD GETS SMART
TRIBUNE DAYS - 3
KRUSHINSKI - 1
KRUSKINSKI - 2
KRUSHINSKI - 3
NOTES - FEB 7-13
BRIEF OF APPELLEES
LANCASTER
TRIBUNE DAYS
TRIBUNE DAYS - 2
HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY
APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3
JUDGE'S OPINION
DEFENDANTS' REPLY
APPEAL
PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER
MEMORANDUM OF LAW
PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS
MAN ON THE SIDEWALK
HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER
THE LETTERS
TWO EMAILS
DIPLOMATS 2
DIPLOMATS SPEAK
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2
DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE
LETTERS/EDITOR
NAME CHANGE
TWILIGHT ZONE
JOURNEY
A SIMPLE, SAD STORY
A FAMILY TRAGEDY
A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2
A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3
A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4
TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
PUPPIES 4 SALE
PUPPIES - 2
ECLIPSE
CLYDE'S COFFEE
TALKBACK
KASEY1
OPEN LETTER
ALICE 1
Best/Worst 3-7 to 13
Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10
REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER
EMILY LETTER
NEIGHBORS LETTER
FAMILY LETTER - 2
Ph.D DOCUMENT
TROUBLE'S COMING
CORTNEY FRY - 1
CORTNEY FRY - 2
UNGODLY SILENCE
HEATHER NUNN - 1
CORTNEY FRY - 3
FAMILY LETTER - 3
ALICE POEMS
DALRYMPLE V. BROWN
SUPERIOR COURT
F&M & INCEST
NOTES - 1
NOTES - 2
NOTES -3
NOTES - 4
NOTES - 5
NOTES - 6
NOTES - 7
FAMILY LETTER - 2
RACIAL INCIDENT
SUPREME COURT
SUPREME COURT 2
LETTER TO JOHN FRY
TALKBACK
THANK YOU - LIP NEWS
CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY
LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY
TERRIBLE POLICE WORK
DO ME A FAVOR
GAMBLING CRACKDOWN
GODVOICEHOLZINGER
VERBAL - TOM CRUISE
MAYOR STEALING CABLE?
TED BYRNE
THE BYRNE GUY
Email Me


An artist's rendering of Ted Byrne, the Parking Guy

 

[Editor's note - Ted Byrnes don't happen to everyone.  If you're lucky enough to get one in a lifetime you run with it.  When life hands you a lemon, you made lemonade.   Mad Magazine has waited 20 years for a Ted Byrne.  National Lampoon has waited 25 years.  The Onion calls me everyday for his number.  No, Ted is mine.  Together, we will soar to the seventh story of a parking garage and from there, the sky is the limit!  You will come to know more about that cutesy scoundrel Byrne than his mother, God bless her soul.  I have been honored.  I am blessed. Thank you to the journalism gods.  I will treat him with the humor, charm and disrespect he deserves.  It doesn't get any better than this.  Life is good.]

 

A CRYSTAL GLASS GARAGE

 

[These are the inspirational and spiritual words posted by Ted Byrne, the Parking Guy, on Talkback.  The insight, the wisdom and the beauty of his writing brought me to tears.  But last night, Ted, well into his second book, turned mean.  Gasp!  It's true.  Check back later today, for full details.]

 

    "In life, much as I try, I cannot get it all. It perturbs and frustrates me. Frustration is a pesky thing, it comes out in so many ways. In fact, it is why I get crankier as I build the stuff up with age. I guess it's the cost of change. I'm reminded of the wedding couple, she hoping he will change, he hoping she will never - change. Life holds surprises for them and us. Good points though. I wish we could afford a crystal glass garage... that, at least would let the sun shine directly in."

 

 




 

|Please Page Down| |Welcome| |CONTACT US| |THE CABLE GUY| |GRAND JURY| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2| |LANC. LYNCHING - 3| |LANC. LYNCHING - 4| |LANC. LYNCHING - 5| |LANC. LYNCHING - 6| |DR. FRAUD GETS SMART| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 3| |KRUSHINSKI - 1| |KRUSKINSKI - 2| |KRUSHINSKI - 3| |NOTES - FEB 7-13| |BRIEF OF APPELLEES| |LANCASTER| |TRIBUNE DAYS| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 2| |HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY| |APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3| |JUDGE'S OPINION| |DEFENDANTS' REPLY| |APPEAL| |PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER| |MEMORANDUM OF LAW| |PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS| |MAN ON THE SIDEWALK| |HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER| |THE LETTERS| |TWO EMAILS| |DIPLOMATS 2| |DIPLOMATS SPEAK| |PLANNED PARENTHOOD| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2| |DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE| |LETTERS/EDITOR| |NAME CHANGE| |TWILIGHT ZONE| |JOURNEY| |A SIMPLE, SAD STORY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4| |TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS| |PUPPIES 4 SALE| |PUPPIES - 2| |ECLIPSE| |CLYDE'S COFFEE| |TALKBACK| |KASEY1| |OPEN LETTER| |ALICE 1| |Best/Worst 3-7 to 13| |Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10| |REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER| |EMILY LETTER| |NEIGHBORS LETTER| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |Ph.D DOCUMENT| |TROUBLE'S COMING| |CORTNEY FRY - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 2| |UNGODLY SILENCE| |HEATHER NUNN - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 3| |FAMILY LETTER - 3| |ALICE POEMS| |DALRYMPLE V. BROWN| |SUPERIOR COURT| |F&M & INCEST| |NOTES - 1| |NOTES - 2| |NOTES -3| |NOTES - 4| |NOTES - 5| |NOTES - 6| |NOTES - 7| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |RACIAL INCIDENT| |SUPREME COURT| |SUPREME COURT 2| |LETTER TO JOHN FRY| |TALKBACK| |THANK YOU - LIP NEWS| |CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY| |LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY| |TERRIBLE POLICE WORK| |DO ME A FAVOR| |GAMBLING CRACKDOWN| |GODVOICEHOLZINGER| |VERBAL - TOM CRUISE| |MAYOR STEALING CABLE?| |TED BYRNE| |THE BYRNE GUY|