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GRAND JURY
LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1
LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2
LANC. LYNCHING - 3
LANC. LYNCHING - 4
LANC. LYNCHING - 5
LANC. LYNCHING - 6
DR. FRAUD GETS SMART
TRIBUNE DAYS - 3
KRUSHINSKI - 1
KRUSKINSKI - 2
KRUSHINSKI - 3
NOTES - FEB 7-13
BRIEF OF APPELLEES
LANCASTER
TRIBUNE DAYS
TRIBUNE DAYS - 2
HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY
APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3
JUDGE'S OPINION
DEFENDANTS' REPLY
APPEAL
PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER
MEMORANDUM OF LAW
PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS
MAN ON THE SIDEWALK
HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER
THE LETTERS
TWO EMAILS
DIPLOMATS 2
DIPLOMATS SPEAK
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2
DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE
LETTERS/EDITOR
NAME CHANGE
TWILIGHT ZONE
JOURNEY
A SIMPLE, SAD STORY
A FAMILY TRAGEDY
A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2
A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3
A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4
TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
PUPPIES 4 SALE
PUPPIES - 2
ECLIPSE
CLYDE'S COFFEE
TALKBACK
KASEY1
OPEN LETTER
ALICE 1
Best/Worst 3-7 to 13
Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10
REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER
EMILY LETTER
NEIGHBORS LETTER
FAMILY LETTER - 2
Ph.D DOCUMENT
TROUBLE'S COMING
CORTNEY FRY - 1
CORTNEY FRY - 2
UNGODLY SILENCE
HEATHER NUNN - 1
CORTNEY FRY - 3
FAMILY LETTER - 3
ALICE POEMS
DALRYMPLE V. BROWN
SUPERIOR COURT
F&M & INCEST
NOTES - 1
NOTES - 2
NOTES -3
NOTES - 4
NOTES - 5
NOTES - 6
NOTES - 7
FAMILY LETTER - 2
RACIAL INCIDENT
SUPREME COURT
SUPREME COURT 2
LETTER TO JOHN FRY
TALKBACK
THANK YOU - LIP NEWS
CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY
LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY
TERRIBLE POLICE WORK
DO ME A FAVOR
GAMBLING CRACKDOWN
GODVOICEHOLZINGER
VERBAL - TOM CRUISE
MAYOR STEALING CABLE?
TED BYRNE
THE BYRNE GUY
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      DOCTOR FRAUD ON CLYDE     

 

      "Hello, Doctor Fraud.  I'm  Becky Holzinger, investigative reporter for

 LIP News."

      "I've never heard of it.  How many readers do you have?"

      "We don't have any readers." 

      "How did you hear about me?"

      "You advertise with us."

      "I see.  Would you like some coffee?"

      "Yes, please."

      "Do you take milk and sugar?"

      "All that you have." 

      He nodded.

     "It's very nice to meet you.  Thank you for seeing me.

How are you today?"

     "I've been better.  I just received another lawsuit.  Blame the

therapist you know.  I told the kid that playing with matches was

okay as long as it was supervised.  How was I to know he didn't

understand the concept of supervision?  I'm not paying

for another house."

     "I can understand that.  It must get expensive."

      "I have a lawyer, you know." 

      "I'm sure that you do."

      "My lawyer likes me.  He always returns my calls."

      "Very nice.  You are a licensed Psychiatrist is

 that correct?"

      "Yes, I got my degree over the internet.  I've been practicing

for six months.  I can prescribe drugs.  Is that why you are here? 

Do you need any drugs?"

      "No thanks.  I am doing a story on a newspaper editor

who has an imaginary friend.  He 'talks' to him in the

columns he writes." 

     "Ah, a young man?"  Doctor Fraud asked.

    "Heavens no.  He's been doing it for sixteen years. 

They drink an awful lot of coffee together."

    "The imaginary friend drinks coffee?" 

     "Yes, and apparently he jogs too."

     "Perhaps this editor is transposing his wild side onto this

friend.    See what a psychiatric degree will do for you? 

Is this imaginary friend interesting?" 

     "No, he's a dreadful bore.  No sense of humor. 

He hasn't said anything funny  in 16 years.  He only cares

about speed bumps and traffic lights.  What impact do you

think this might have on the readers of his column?

It's downright creepy, if you ask me.  But then, I'm

not a psychiatrist."

     "Well, I am.  Did I tell you?"

     "Yes, you did.  Excellent coffee by the way."

    "This is serious.  This editor person

sounds like a nut-job."

     "Could you be more specific in your diagnosis?"

     "Nut-job is a legitimate psychiatric term.  He needs a

padded room.  He needs to be medicated.  He may

be a danger to the public."

     "Well there's no doubt his writing is a danger to

the public.  What about therapy?  Would

therapy help?"

     "There aren't enough hours in the day.  Sixteen years

 with Harvey.  This man needs drugs.  He needs to be

sedated.  Did I tell you that I can prescribe drugs?"

     "Yes you did."

     "Would you like some?"

     "No thanks."

     "Well, keep me in mind if you ever need drugs."

     "Thank you so much."

     "Have this man see me as soon as possible.  We can't

have him walking the streets unsedated.  He doesn't

play with matches, does he?"

     "I wouldn't know."

     "Probably does.  What is this world coming to? 

You'll keep my ad running won't you?"

     "Of course," I said.

  

NEXT - "A MAN IN THE STREET" GIVES HIS DIAGNOSIS HERE.




 

|Please Page Down| |Welcome| |CONTACT US| |THE CABLE GUY| |GRAND JURY| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2| |LANC. LYNCHING - 3| |LANC. LYNCHING - 4| |LANC. LYNCHING - 5| |LANC. LYNCHING - 6| |DR. FRAUD GETS SMART| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 3| |KRUSHINSKI - 1| |KRUSKINSKI - 2| |KRUSHINSKI - 3| |NOTES - FEB 7-13| |BRIEF OF APPELLEES| |LANCASTER| |TRIBUNE DAYS| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 2| |HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY| |APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3| |JUDGE'S OPINION| |DEFENDANTS' REPLY| |APPEAL| |PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER| |MEMORANDUM OF LAW| |PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS| |MAN ON THE SIDEWALK| |HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER| |THE LETTERS| |TWO EMAILS| |DIPLOMATS 2| |DIPLOMATS SPEAK| |PLANNED PARENTHOOD| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2| |DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE| |LETTERS/EDITOR| |NAME CHANGE| |TWILIGHT ZONE| |JOURNEY| |A SIMPLE, SAD STORY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4| |TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS| |PUPPIES 4 SALE| |PUPPIES - 2| |ECLIPSE| |CLYDE'S COFFEE| |TALKBACK| |KASEY1| |OPEN LETTER| |ALICE 1| |Best/Worst 3-7 to 13| |Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10| |REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER| |EMILY LETTER| |NEIGHBORS LETTER| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |Ph.D DOCUMENT| |TROUBLE'S COMING| |CORTNEY FRY - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 2| |UNGODLY SILENCE| |HEATHER NUNN - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 3| |FAMILY LETTER - 3| |ALICE POEMS| |DALRYMPLE V. BROWN| |SUPERIOR COURT| |F&M & INCEST| |NOTES - 1| |NOTES - 2| |NOTES -3| |NOTES - 4| |NOTES - 5| |NOTES - 6| |NOTES - 7| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |RACIAL INCIDENT| |SUPREME COURT| |SUPREME COURT 2| |LETTER TO JOHN FRY| |TALKBACK| |THANK YOU - LIP NEWS| |CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY| |LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY| |TERRIBLE POLICE WORK| |DO ME A FAVOR| |GAMBLING CRACKDOWN| |GODVOICEHOLZINGER| |VERBAL - TOM CRUISE| |MAYOR STEALING CABLE?| |TED BYRNE| |THE BYRNE GUY|