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Welcome
CONTACT US
THE CABLE GUY
GRAND JURY
LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1
LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2
LANC. LYNCHING - 3
LANC. LYNCHING - 4
LANC. LYNCHING - 5
LANC. LYNCHING - 6
DR. FRAUD GETS SMART
TRIBUNE DAYS - 3
KRUSHINSKI - 1
KRUSKINSKI - 2
KRUSHINSKI - 3
NOTES - FEB 7-13
BRIEF OF APPELLEES
LANCASTER
TRIBUNE DAYS
TRIBUNE DAYS - 2
HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY
APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3
JUDGE'S OPINION
DEFENDANTS' REPLY
APPEAL
PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER
MEMORANDUM OF LAW
PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS
MAN ON THE SIDEWALK
HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER
THE LETTERS
TWO EMAILS
DIPLOMATS 2
DIPLOMATS SPEAK
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1
CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2
DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE
LETTERS/EDITOR
NAME CHANGE
TWILIGHT ZONE
JOURNEY
A SIMPLE, SAD STORY
A FAMILY TRAGEDY
A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2
A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3
A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4
TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
PUPPIES 4 SALE
PUPPIES - 2
ECLIPSE
CLYDE'S COFFEE
TALKBACK
KASEY1
OPEN LETTER
ALICE 1
Best/Worst 3-7 to 13
Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10
REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER
EMILY LETTER
NEIGHBORS LETTER
FAMILY LETTER - 2
Ph.D DOCUMENT
TROUBLE'S COMING
CORTNEY FRY - 1
CORTNEY FRY - 2
UNGODLY SILENCE
HEATHER NUNN - 1
CORTNEY FRY - 3
FAMILY LETTER - 3
ALICE POEMS
DALRYMPLE V. BROWN
SUPERIOR COURT
F&M & INCEST
NOTES - 1
NOTES - 2
NOTES -3
NOTES - 4
NOTES - 5
NOTES - 6
NOTES - 7
FAMILY LETTER - 2
RACIAL INCIDENT
SUPREME COURT
SUPREME COURT 2
LETTER TO JOHN FRY
TALKBACK
THANK YOU - LIP NEWS
CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY
LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY
TERRIBLE POLICE WORK
DO ME A FAVOR
GAMBLING CRACKDOWN
GODVOICEHOLZINGER
VERBAL - TOM CRUISE
MAYOR STEALING CABLE?
TED BYRNE
THE BYRNE GUY
Email Me


HOW I GOT SMART

By Real Smart

 

I was born smart. Real smart.

I am a spoiled, white, frat-brat and I’m proud. But, I’m really just one of you. Did I mention that I eat fried chicken?

Look. I am who I am and I’m not afraid to say it. And I think this community needs that. I also think this community needs a good fried chicken joint.

Look. When I said the Amish should be allowed to sell six-packs from their buggies on Sundays, I meant it. I had an Amish woman call me about that. Women call me all the time and tell me their stories because I am real smart.

I can write, too. And I’m not afraid to say that.

And, overall, I think this community is better off for it.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cate     Nice article, Real.

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Silly       I like trucks. Do you have a truck, Real?

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Fave     You’re off-topic, Silly.

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Silly      Fave, I just like trucks. Do you have a big truck, Real?

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Fave      I have a ban button, Silly. Don’t make me use it.

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Strayed      Thank you Fave. Going off-topic is a sin.

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Riverfat    Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real?

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Daddyw     Do you put ketchup on your fried chicken?

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Cate         LOL. Why do you ask, Daddyw?

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Daddyw    I ask because Kerry’s wife is a big, red tomato. I’ve stopped eating condiments

                 altogether because of that b****.

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Darling     Your life must be kind of bland Daddyw. How do you spice things up?

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Fave        Settle down people. Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real?

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Dope        Who puts ketchup on their fried chicken? I don’t think white people do that. Black

                 people put hot sauce on their fried chicken. The Hispanics probably eat their fried

                chicken with those big, banana things. I don’t know if Asians eat fried chicken.

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Darling       What are those big banana things?  Does anyone know?

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Riverfat       Do you have any guns in your truck, Real?

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Daddyw      I think you should, Real. Especially if you’re going into the ward to buy Clyde his coffee.

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Cate           I think I like coffee. Does anyone know if I like coffee?

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Dimpled     Yes, Cate, you like coffee. You posted it here once.

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Cate          Thank you, Dimpled. I do like coffee. What kind does Clyde drink? I don’t go into the ward.

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Marv1       Real, did you say the Amish should sell six -packs from their buggies? Do you think that was wise?

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Silly          I don’t like buggies. I like trucks.

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Dimpled      We all know that, Silly.  You posted it here once.

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Darling      Can we go back to the banana things?

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Marv1      Have you considered a hair cut, Darling?

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Lovelywoman      I have a recipe for fried chicken. Buttermilk is the trick. PM me if you want the recipe.

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Cate        I want the recipe. I never leave my house because I’m on this board 24/7.

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Dope       Get a freaking life, Cate.

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Fave       Bad girl, Dope. Read the rules. I’m going to make you sit in the corner for a while.

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Strayed     Thank you, Fave.

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Daddyw      Do you have a recipe for pickles, Lovelywoman? I miss my condiments. What brand of

                   beer do the Amish sell, Real?

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Amishfiend     I think you are all left-wing commies.

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Daddyw         I’m not, Amishfiend. I only read books by my pal Ollie North.

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Cate           Are those good books, Daddyw? I’m looking for a good book.

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Riverfat     Do the Amish eat fried chicken?

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Darling     There is no known cure for left-wing commies.

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Lovelywoman       I have a recipe for mock pickles, Daddyw. They’re quite good and they’re made with

                             green tomatoes.  LOL

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Dope         I didn’t think white people ate green tomatoes.

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Fave        You’re in the corner, Dope.

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Darling    Do you think I should get a haircut, Marv1?

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Lovelywoman     I can’t find my avatar.

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Cate          I can’t find myself.

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Riverfat     I can’t find my AK-47.

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Daddyw     I can’t find my Ollie North book.

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Mixxedup   I can’t find the ward.

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Fave        Behave people. LNP doesn’t pay me overtime. I’m closing this thread and getting some

                sleep. When astonished was posting, my beeper would go off at all hours of the night.

                I took care of that. Be warned, posters. I do have a ban button and I will use it.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Strayed      Thank you, Fave.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Fave          I said this thread was closed.

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Strayed      Good night, Fave.

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Fave         You all just don’t get it, do you.?I’m banning everyone except Daddyw. I can’t ban him.

                 He’s my boss. It will just be Daddyw, karl and me posting from now on. If that crazy

                 Clyde comes on, I'll ban him too.  He's a nut job.  Goodbye.

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|Please Page Down| |Welcome| |CONTACT US| |THE CABLE GUY| |GRAND JURY| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2| |LANC. LYNCHING - 3| |LANC. LYNCHING - 4| |LANC. LYNCHING - 5| |LANC. LYNCHING - 6| |DR. FRAUD GETS SMART| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 3| |KRUSHINSKI - 1| |KRUSKINSKI - 2| |KRUSHINSKI - 3| |NOTES - FEB 7-13| |BRIEF OF APPELLEES| |LANCASTER| |TRIBUNE DAYS| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 2| |HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY| |APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3| |JUDGE'S OPINION| |DEFENDANTS' REPLY| |APPEAL| |PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER| |MEMORANDUM OF LAW| |PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS| |MAN ON THE SIDEWALK| |HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER| |THE LETTERS| |TWO EMAILS| |DIPLOMATS 2| |DIPLOMATS SPEAK| |PLANNED PARENTHOOD| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2| |DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE| |LETTERS/EDITOR| |NAME CHANGE| |TWILIGHT ZONE| |JOURNEY| |A SIMPLE, SAD STORY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4| |TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS| |PUPPIES 4 SALE| |PUPPIES - 2| |ECLIPSE| |CLYDE'S COFFEE| |TALKBACK| |KASEY1| |OPEN LETTER| |ALICE 1| |Best/Worst 3-7 to 13| |Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10| |REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER| |EMILY LETTER| |NEIGHBORS LETTER| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |Ph.D DOCUMENT| |TROUBLE'S COMING| |CORTNEY FRY - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 2| |UNGODLY SILENCE| |HEATHER NUNN - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 3| |FAMILY LETTER - 3| |ALICE POEMS| |DALRYMPLE V. BROWN| |SUPERIOR COURT| |F&M & INCEST| |NOTES - 1| |NOTES - 2| |NOTES -3| |NOTES - 4| |NOTES - 5| |NOTES - 6| |NOTES - 7| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |RACIAL INCIDENT| |SUPREME COURT| |SUPREME COURT 2| |LETTER TO JOHN FRY| |TALKBACK| |THANK YOU - LIP NEWS| |CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY| |LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY| |TERRIBLE POLICE WORK| |DO ME A FAVOR| |GAMBLING CRACKDOWN| |GODVOICEHOLZINGER| |VERBAL - TOM CRUISE| |MAYOR STEALING CABLE?| |TED BYRNE| |THE BYRNE GUY|