HOW I GOT SMART By Real Smart   I was born smart. Real smart. I am a spoiled, white, frat-brat and I’m proud. But, I’m really just one of you. Did I mention that I eat fried chicken? Look. I am who I am and I’m not afraid to say it. And I think this community needs that. I also think this community needs a good fried chicken joint. Look. When I said the Amish should be allowed to sell six-packs from their buggies on Sundays, I meant it. I had an Amish woman call me about that. Women call me all the time and tell me their stories because I am real smart. I can write, too. And I’m not afraid to say that. And, overall, I think this community is better off for it. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate     Nice article, Real. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Silly       I like trucks. Do you have a truck, Real? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave     You’re off-topic, Silly. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Silly      Fave, I just like trucks. Do you have a big truck, Real? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave      I have a ban button, Silly. Don’t make me use it. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Strayed      Thank you Fave. Going off-topic is a sin. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Riverfat    Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Daddyw     Do you put ketchup on your fried chicken? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate         LOL. Why do you ask, Daddyw? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Daddyw    I ask because Kerry’s wife is a big, red tomato. I’ve stopped eating condiments                  altogether because of that b****. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Darling     Your life must be kind of bland Daddyw. How do you spice things up? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave        Settle down people. Where do you buy your fried chicken, Real? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dope        Who puts ketchup on their fried chicken? I don’t think white people do that. Black                  people put hot sauce on their fried chicken. The Hispanics probably eat their fried                 chicken with those big, banana things. I don’t know if Asians eat fried chicken. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Darling       What are those big banana things?  Does anyone know? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Riverfat       Do you have any guns in your truck, Real? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Daddyw      I think you should, Real. Especially if you’re going into the ward to buy Clyde his coffee. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate           I think I like coffee. Does anyone know if I like coffee? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dimpled     Yes, Cate, you like coffee. You posted it here once. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate          Thank you, Dimpled. I do like coffee. What kind does Clyde drink? I don’t go into the ward. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Marv1       Real, did you say the Amish should sell six -packs from their buggies? Do you think that was wise? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Silly          I don’t like buggies. I like trucks. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dimpled      We all know that, Silly.  You posted it here once. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Darling      Can we go back to the banana things? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Marv1      Have you considered a hair cut, Darling? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Lovelywoman      I have a recipe for fried chicken. Buttermilk is the trick. PM me if you want the recipe. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate        I want the recipe. I never leave my house because I’m on this board 24/7. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dope       Get a freaking life, Cate. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave       Bad girl, Dope. Read the rules. I’m going to make you sit in the corner for a while. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Strayed     Thank you, Fave. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Daddyw      Do you have a recipe for pickles, Lovelywoman? I miss my condiments. What brand of                    beer do the Amish sell, Real? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Amishfiend     I think you are all left-wing commies. __________________________________________________________________________________________________  Daddyw         I’m not, Amishfiend. I only read books by my pal Ollie North. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate           Are those good books, Daddyw? I’m looking for a good book. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Riverfat     Do the Amish eat fried chicken? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Darling     There is no known cure for left-wing commies. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Lovelywoman       I have a recipe for mock pickles, Daddyw. They’re quite good and they’re made with                              green tomatoes.  LOL __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dope         I didn’t think white people ate green tomatoes. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave        You’re in the corner, Dope. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Darling    Do you think I should get a haircut, Marv1? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Lovelywoman     I can’t find my avatar. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cate          I can’t find myself. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Riverfat     I can’t find my AK-47. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Daddyw     I can’t find my Ollie North book. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Mixxedup   I can’t find the ward. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave        Behave people. LNP doesn’t pay me overtime. I’m closing this thread and getting some                 sleep. When astonished was posting, my beeper would go off at all hours of the night.                 I took care of that. Be warned, posters. I do have a ban button and I will use it. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Strayed      Thank you, Fave. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave          I said this thread was closed. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Strayed      Good night, Fave. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fave         You all just don’t get it, do you.?I’m banning everyone except Daddyw. I can’t ban him.                  He’s my boss. It will just be Daddyw, karl and me posting from now on. If that crazy                  Clyde comes on, I'll ban him too.  He's a nut job.  Goodbye. __________________________________________________________________________________________________