PUPPIES 4 SALE
Good morning, son! Lovely morning. Bit of a nip in the air. Good sleeping weather. All of that, I said.
How many cups have you had? he asked. Six or seven. I have made a major decision, I declared.
Oh, dear Lord, no, he said.
Yes, yes, yes, I said. "I want a lawn sign. I want a lawn sign, now. Its the American thing to do. It shows I care. It shows that I am involved in the system. It shows that I am an informed voter. I must have a lawn sign.
Well, then get one, he said.
No, I said, I cant leave the house. Im a blogger now. I dont know what that means but theres a whole blogosphere out there and I have to be on it. Rumors fly in seconds. I owe it to my readers to be on top of these things.
Would that be the one misguided soul in Paradise? he asked.
Very funny. Now, I need you to run down to Kerry Headquarters and bring back a catalog of my options size, colors, fonts, phraseology, and so forth. I have to make sure it fits in with the lawn décor. Ill have the shovel out by the time you get back.
Good idea, he said walking out the door.
I called my neighbor. Thelma, its your neighbor, Becky. Guess what? How many cups? she asked. Seven or eight, I said.
I am going to get a political lawn sign! I exclaimed.
Do you think thats wise? Thelma asked. It might draw a bad element to the neighborhood. Besides, I think they are ugly and tacky.
Oh, no, I said. Im going to be selective with the size, colors, fonts, phraseology and so forth so it fits into my yards décor.
I see, Thelma said. Were you going to take down your Christmas lights first?
That season is coming back around, I said.
I see. Maybe you could just get a window sign instead? she asked.
No, I said. I thought of that but it would block too much light and be harder to see from the street.
If you took down the Halloween decorations, perhaps you would have enough light? she asked.
That season is really coming back around, I said.
Were you going to cut your grass? she asked. "I doubt anyone will be able to see your sign. Your grass is knee high.
I didnt know there was so much involved in this lawn sign business, I said. Do you have to wash them from time to time? Anyway, I was going to have a little lawn sign installation party tonight. Ill be serving coffee. Would you like to come? I asked.
:Unfortunately, I have plans, Thelma said.
Well, do come by tomorrow and have a look, I said. I better go now and prepare for my lawn sign.
Always a pleasure, Thelma said.
Son, where have you been? I asked as he pulled up several hours later. Look! Ive mowed the lawn and trimmed the bushes in preparation for my lawn sign.
I have disturbing news, he said. The Kerry people are completely out of lawn signs.