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DR. FRAUD GETS SMART
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TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
PUPPIES 4 SALE
PUPPIES - 2
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DALRYMPLE V. BROWN
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NOTES - 1
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NOTES -3
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FAMILY LETTER - 2
RACIAL INCIDENT
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LETTER TO JOHN FRY
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THE BYRNE GUY
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 PUPPIES 4 SALE

    “Good morning, son!  Lovely morning.  Bit of a nip in the air.  Good sleeping weather.  All of that,” I said.

    “How many cups have you had?” he asked.  “Six or seven.  I have made a major decision,” I declared.

    “Oh, dear Lord, no,” he said. 

    “Yes, yes, yes,” I said.  "I want a lawn sign.  I want a lawn sign, now.  It’s the American thing to do.  It shows I care.  It shows that I am involved in the system.  It shows that I am an informed voter.  I must have a lawn sign.”

    “Well, then get one,” he said.

    “No,” I said, “I can’t leave the house.  I’m a blogger now.  I don’t know what that means but there’s a whole blogosphere out there and I have to be on it.  Rumors fly in seconds.  I owe it to my readers to be on top of these things.”

    “Would that be the one misguided soul in Paradise?” he asked.

    “Very funny.  Now, I need you to run down to Kerry Headquarters and bring back a catalog of my options – size, colors, fonts, phraseology, and so forth.  I have to make sure it fits in with the lawn décor.  I’ll have the shovel out by the time you get back.”

    “Good idea,” he said walking out the door.

    I called my neighbor.  “Thelma, it’s your neighbor, Becky.  Guess what?”  “How many cups?” she asked.  “Seven or eight,” I said.

    “I am going to get a political lawn sign!” I exclaimed. 

    “Do you think that’s wise?” Thelma asked.  “It might draw a bad element to the neighborhood.  Besides, I think they are ugly and tacky.”

    “Oh, no,” I said.  “I’m going to be selective with the size, colors, fonts, phraseology and so forth so it fits into my yard’s décor.”

    “I see,” Thelma said.  “Were you going to take down your Christmas lights first?”

    “That season is coming back around,” I said.

     “I see.  Maybe you could just get a window sign instead?” she asked.

     “No,” I said.  “I thought of that but it would block too much light and be harder to see from the street.”

     “If you took down the Halloween decorations, perhaps you would have enough light?” she asked.

     “That season is really coming back around,” I said.

     “Were you going to cut your grass?” she asked.  "I doubt anyone will be able to see your sign.  Your grass is knee high.”

     “I didn’t know there was so much involved in this lawn sign business,” I said.  “Do you have to wash them from time to time?  Anyway, I was going to have a little lawn sign installation party tonight.  I’ll be serving coffee.  Would you like to come?” I asked.

    :”Unfortunately, I have plans,” Thelma said. 

     “Well, do come by tomorrow and have a look,” I said.  “I better go now and prepare for my lawn sign.”

     “Always a pleasure,” Thelma said.

     “Son, where have you been?” I asked as he pulled up several hours later.  “Look!  I’ve mowed the lawn and trimmed the bushes in preparation for my lawn sign.”

     “I have disturbing news,” he said.  “The Kerry people are completely out of lawn signs.”

                                                                        Continued here.    

   

 

   

   

   

                                                                     

   




 

|Please Page Down| |Welcome| |CONTACT US| |THE CABLE GUY| |GRAND JURY| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 1| |LANCASTER LYNCHING - 2| |LANC. LYNCHING - 3| |LANC. LYNCHING - 4| |LANC. LYNCHING - 5| |LANC. LYNCHING - 6| |DR. FRAUD GETS SMART| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 3| |KRUSHINSKI - 1| |KRUSKINSKI - 2| |KRUSHINSKI - 3| |NOTES - FEB 7-13| |BRIEF OF APPELLEES| |LANCASTER| |TRIBUNE DAYS| |TRIBUNE DAYS - 2| |HOW I GOT SMART/PARODY| |APPEAL/SUPERIOR COURT| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 3| |JUDGE'S OPINION| |DEFENDANTS' REPLY| |APPEAL| |PLAINTIFF'S ANSWER| |MEMORANDUM OF LAW| |PRELIMINARY OBJECTIONS| |MAN ON THE SIDEWALK| |HOLZINGER v. HOLZINGER| |THE LETTERS| |TWO EMAILS| |DIPLOMATS 2| |DIPLOMATS SPEAK| |PLANNED PARENTHOOD| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE-1| |CHARLIE'S PROMISE - 2| |DR. FRAUD ON CLYDE| |LETTERS/EDITOR| |NAME CHANGE| |TWILIGHT ZONE| |JOURNEY| |A SIMPLE, SAD STORY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY-2| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 3| |A FAMILY TRAGEDY - 4| |TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS| |PUPPIES 4 SALE| |PUPPIES - 2| |ECLIPSE| |CLYDE'S COFFEE| |TALKBACK| |KASEY1| |OPEN LETTER| |ALICE 1| |Best/Worst 3-7 to 13| |Best/Worst 1-16 to 1-10| |REVIEW/POIST ON HARPER| |EMILY LETTER| |NEIGHBORS LETTER| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |Ph.D DOCUMENT| |TROUBLE'S COMING| |CORTNEY FRY - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 2| |UNGODLY SILENCE| |HEATHER NUNN - 1| |CORTNEY FRY - 3| |FAMILY LETTER - 3| |ALICE POEMS| |DALRYMPLE V. BROWN| |SUPERIOR COURT| |F&M & INCEST| |NOTES - 1| |NOTES - 2| |NOTES -3| |NOTES - 4| |NOTES - 5| |NOTES - 6| |NOTES - 7| |FAMILY LETTER - 2| |RACIAL INCIDENT| |SUPREME COURT| |SUPREME COURT 2| |LETTER TO JOHN FRY| |TALKBACK| |THANK YOU - LIP NEWS| |CORTNEY FRY - GRAND JURY| |LOUIS FARINA - FIND JURY| |TERRIBLE POLICE WORK| |DO ME A FAVOR| |GAMBLING CRACKDOWN| |GODVOICEHOLZINGER| |VERBAL - TOM CRUISE| |MAYOR STEALING CABLE?| |TED BYRNE| |THE BYRNE GUY|